Hiccups
by Bakura's Girl88
Summary: Sesshoumaru has gone to discuss the problem called Naraku with the other three main lords. But what is gonna happen if he gets the hiccups right before that?
1. Sesshoumaru's little problem

This is a one shot that I'm doing because right now, the namesake affliction is tormenting me!! Argh!!!

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_**Hiccups**_

It isn't easy being a taiyoukai. It's even harder when you're the youngest of the four greatest landowners in all of Japan. But I, Sesshoumaru, know how to play the senile fools like my trump cards.

I had just woken up on this particular day; something I'd have rather not done. I was exhausted still, but I couldn't do anything about it. It was already very late in the day, and I was due for a meeting about Naraku to the other lords at noon.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, didn't you have an important meeting today?" Jaken screeched. I winced as his voice hit my tired senses. I walked over him. That is, his face was my leverage.

"Jaken, be quiet. I know my agenda."

"As you wish, Milord. I merely wish to inform you that you have a mere hour…"

"_WHAT?!?!_"

Now I was angry! Angry at waking up late, angry at insomnia, angry at everything!

"Jaken, have Tori serve my breakfast. Quickly now, the lords will not wait!"

I ran into my dressing room with my healer and all-around helper, Ayumi. She had been a friend of Inuyasha's and mine since childhood, the only neko youkai I could tolerate.

"Good morning, Sesshoumaru-sama."

I nodded curtly and began tearing my bed things off. Ayumi helped dress me where I was not able, for I could only do so much with but one arm. After she tied my obi securely and I had brushed the tangles from my hair, I thanked her quickly and left for my meal. I heard her last comment very clearly.

"Oh, Sesshoumaru. You haven't lost your childish antics quite yet…"  
Okay, fine, I admit I was rushing around a great deal more than need be, but I, childish?!

I am not the oldest daimyo (lord). Far from it. In youkai years, I was only 23, a mere child to the Eastern lord, Eros who was well over 40 in youkai years. As for the human lords, they were well over my age. Not only that, but it seems each generation the offspring of all intelligent beasts, human and demon alike, retain their childish nature even further than their parents once did. I am no exception. I am what I am. Because of this, the lords were skeptical of my abilities. They doubt my wisdom and shun my ideas. Only a few times did they accept my judgement directly. Any other time, credit was taken for my ideas. I didn't mind. I merely wanted the lands at peace. I wanted the need to call this era the Sengoku Jidai to be a thing of the past…

As I reached the table and sat, I took a moment to reminisce on yesterday.

I had once again taken Inuyasha. It was merely due to stress. No swords, only claw-to-claw, fang-to-fang. However, Inuyasha's patience had grown thin, and I found it necessary to conclude our match after he laid my left shoulderblade open with Tetsusaiga.

I was still smarting from that blow, but I knew Inuyasha was paid back a hundredfold: I had clawed him deeply across the chest and given him a nice, unhealthy amount of invenomation. He'd be down and out for a week, I expect.

"M'lord, didn't you have a meeting?"

I sighed. _You too Rin?_

"Yes, Rin. I am trying to hurry."

"Oh!' Rin gasped, covering her mouth. "I'm sorry…"

"That's okay."

So saying, I began to eat rather quickly, not to willing to make a bad impression to the lords on my already bad list of such things. I had such a bad reputation because I was a "prodigal young man" as my Chichi-ue had once told me.

I knew I must have looked a fright to Rin the first time I had eaten raw meat before her. I was an animal, such was my nature to tear and rip and shred. However, as blood flecked the table from the speed at which I ate my meal, she merely stared in a bored fashion.

I gulped the meat quickly, choking for but a moment. I suppose I underestimated my hunger. I was ravished. My hands found themselves holding the meat as I viciously threw my head from side to side and gulped greedily. The entire lamb was in my stomach and I was chewing on a femur in only seven minutes. However, I knew I had not the time to dawdle. I cleaned my face (No blood had reached my haori—this I would _not _allow!) and left the femur for later in the corner of my quarters. No one would suspect a dignified lord such as I of these childish antics, but what can I say?

"Rin, Jaken, I shall return by sundown of the third day," I told my companions. "Mind Jaken and Ayumi, Rin."

"Yes, Milord!"

"Ah-Un, you shall stay here," I added as an afterthought to the dragon(s). They nodded.

I turned and jogged briskly to my destination. Jogging by my standards, however, was much faster than my hanyou brother. That amused me, and I had not laughed to myself in a while. Just as a chuckle was about to leave my throat…

_"Hic!"_

I was confused. What was this?

"What the –hic-!"

I felt my stomach jerk upwards with my diaphragm as I did…whatever I did.

Wait a minute. I –hic- remembered this. Chichi-ue told me –hic- about it when I was young.

Hiccups.

Oh, sh…-hic-…it!!

Not today! Not now! I have a –hic- meeting with those bone-picking lords!

I had roughly 15 minutes to arrive. I could get there in seven. That left me with –hic- eight minutes to cure myself.

"Okay, what did Haha-ue say…?"

Oh, that's right. Mother said drinking water and holding your breath for two minutes while standing on your head works sometimes…

I found a stream and in half a minute, I was on top of my head, using my one hand for a little leverage as I held my breath.

Instantly, my head began to throb and I felt dizzy.

_Uhh…I don't feel so good…_

I also couldn't hold my breath much longer. Only a minute had passed and my lungs were on fire!!

Another thirty seconds passed and I didn't hiccup. Was it working?

_"HIC!!!"_

As I hiccupped, my balance was thrown and I landed on my face. The water sprayed out before I hit.

"Ghrk!!"

It was then that I extended the grounds vocabulary a great deal.

_Absolutely wonderful! I'm facedown in mud, and I have the –HIC!!-…_

Need I even say it?

Now, what did Chichi-ue say…?

He said that to get rid of hiccups you should…umm…oh yeah…

_"You should spin around for three minutes."_

"Okay. Here goes."

I stood up, wiped the mud from my face, and stood on one foot like I did when I used my spinning whip attack. That was exactly how I was going to spin.

And so I started.

One minute in, I wasn't even fazed.

Two minutes in, I was starting to taste my breakfast.

Thirty seconds after that (I admit I was adamant about getting through at least this cure), I had no choice but to stop. I felt too sick to keep the centrifugal force I needed to spin.

"I…I think…I'm going to…"

I knew I must have looked awful. Face still slightly muddy and now green, hair blown askew from my spin, and eyes most definitely swirling.

"At least…at least the hiccups are gone," I told myself, leaning against a tree until my world became steady. I had my head down just in case I couldn't…well, you know…

Suddenly…

"_HIC!! Blearghhhh!!!"_

Damn these hiccups! Persistent, weren't they?

Well, ah…that hiccup was all it took to dislodge my meal from my system. I watched as it came up and onto the mossy ground in disgust. You don't even want to know where else on my face it came from…but since I said it, I bet you would love to know? Perhaps some of you out there hate me, hmm?

My nose. It was coming out of my nose. See, I can handle throwing up okay; it's a body's natural response to sickness, dizziness, anything that causes nausea…but really! From my _NOSE_!!! How unfair is that?!?!

After my last few minutes were up, I was tired. I was still sick. I smelled unpleasant. I was muddy. And I really wanted to reschedule this conference.

Oh, and did I forget the hiccups?

This is going to be my worst hour.

As I reached the castle, I kneeled down.

_Dear…um…oh…what was it, what was it…oh yeah! God! Yeah, God! _

_Now listen, I know I am a demon, but I don't ask for much…please, **please, PLEASE **do not let me mortify myself. Yeah, it's Sesshoumaru talking here. Amen._

Okay, not the greatest prayer and it was for self-gain. What can I say? I am a demon, I was born like this.

I took in a breath, hoping the forest had masked my sickness. I had not soiled myself, it was just that Eros would be able to smell it, and he's a bastard, he will make fun of me.

I pushed the castle doors open and allowed myself entrance, looking as I always do. I call it normal, others call it stoicism. I am not here to impress.

A small blue dragon, reminding me of the old Thunder Demon tribe's familiar, came to me.

"Welcome, Lord Sesshoumaru. I hope I find you well?" she said in a calm voice.

"yes…"

I inwardly groaned. What a time to be hoarse!!

I cleared my throat.

"I mean, yes. I am well."

Should have stuck to my usual silence, I believe.

"Come. The lords await you."

I strode proudly, following the little dragon as she led me. We soon came to Eros' meeting room.

"You're late!" Eros snapped.

"I am not," I replied evenly. "I am in fact several seconds early.

"Pah! Seconds matter not, child!"

"Every few seconds, Lord Eros, a child is born in our country. Every few seconds, a demon or human…"

I nodded to the human lords.

"…is killed or dies in some way, shape or manner. Time is very much of the essence, Lord Eros. I respect it."

"And it is time itself that disrespects you, little whelp! Take your seat!"

I held in a hiccup. In all honesty, it was a hard task to hide the hiccups from the young dragoness who brought me. I am sure Eros would catch on soon.

"Do not be so sharp, Lord Eros," said Lord Scion of the North. "The young one's wisdom far outstrips his age."  
Lord Jyounouchi inclined his head to me, flashing a grin for but a second. My eyes flickered to him in response.

I took my seat next to Eros, who was in his true form. He was big enough for his mouth to fit two of me lengthwise.

So when his nostrils flared, I knew what to expect.

He submerged me in the wide cavern of his nostril, and I held my breath as the walls of his nose contracted, nearly touching my nose.

"Hmm…you smell ill, Lord Sesshoumaru. Were you sick before you came?" he asked accusingly. "This bodes not well for you."

I opened my mouth to speak and a large hiccup echoed in his nose.

"What was that?"

"It was nothing."

"Do not lie!"

Eros pulled his head up and stared at me with one orange eye, teeth flashing.

"I know when you are lying, Sesshoumaru. I can smell it in your aura…"

His tongue snaked from his jaws and wrapped around my breastplate uncomfortably for a moment before he brought it back in.

"Don't lie to me, for you know what I can do."

His saliva began to manipulate itself around my breastplate and move to my arm and throat. It tightened slightly.

Eros could control his spit. Is that something so daunting, you may ask?

It can be. It can be when it chokes the life out of you.

Even now, I could feel the warm, acidic liquid tightening around my throat.

"Lord Eros, that is enough. What you youkai do on your own is your business. We called a meeting today to discuss Naraku!" Jyounouchi snapped.

His drool began to roll off of my neck, leaving a slimy oozing trail, which caused my skin to break out in a rash. I shuddered.

I didn't mention it before, but there is one lord worth his salt. Jyounouchi. He was thirty-nine years young, nothing to my human age, but to my youkai age, he outranked me. I respected him. He reciprocated the action. There was only one problem with him.

He was too cocky, and he took a more than a little credit of my ideas. Usually I gave him the ideas in a sly way, but sometimes, he would boldly take the idea. Later, he would claim he did it for my sake, and I could detect no lie from him. That is saying something, for I am what one would call a demonic lie detector. Not even Eros could read peoples' auras as well as I.

Jyounouchi was all right.

"Proceed, Lord Sesshoumaru," Scion said.

Ah, yes. Lord Scion. He was cunning and gods know he could be controlling all the lands through us as his puppets. However, Lord Scion only did what was right, other than a little lordly competition here and there. He was the most honest aristocrat I could ever hope to meet, Jyounouchi aside.

"You must excuse me today. I am –hic- being afflicted by this irksome action."

"Everybody hiccups, Lord Sesshoumaru. Continue," Scion replied.

I cleared my throat, which was still hoarse.

"As you all well know, Na…–hic!-…that is, Naraku, has been causing distress in all of our lands, as well as some of the less powerful lord's domains. He has…-hic!- …even become bold enough to attempt to annihilate this Sesshou…-hic!- ...Sesshoumaru."

I knew that these hiccups were ruining my speech. And what was more, my stomach was hurting quite badly from the hiccups and my earlier "release." It was distracting me. And as one may be able to tell, I do not like to talk much. I may start a tirade around Inuyasha, but other than that, I am person-shy. I am not afraid to say it is because I am antisocial.

"Now what should we –hic- do about it?" I asked. "I turn to you for advice, honorable lords. It is not only –hic- me that he attacks, but you as well. –hic!!-

I fell silent. My claim was on the table, and it was up to the others now.

"What is it you want us to do?" Scion wondered.

"I…this may sound comical due to my –hic- problem at the moment, but I…"

My throat closed. This was the moment of truth. If they said no, horrible things could be in store for Japan.

"I move we band together to fight this menace."

Before I'd barely finished, Scion was in my face.

"Ah, with you demons, it's always fighting!"

"If you don't like fighting, you ought not to have taken up lordship," Jyounouchi replied to him.

I knew my ears must have twitched the slightest bit. I could sense it, but I could not stop it. This could actually be the One! The end of Naraku! If Jyounouchi seconded my movement, we could take action immediately!

He remained silent.

No…no don't give me a look, Jyounouchi. Don't do it…

"I…this is sudden, Lord Sesshoumaru," Scion said in amazement. "Normally, we lords keep to our lands."

"What Lord Scion means is that we shall be making _no _alliance!" Eros spat. "Not for a pest such as Naraku! Feh! The next time I see that insignificant speck, I'll tear him apart with my fangs!!"

"…Scion…?"

Scion shook his head apologetically.

"…Lord Jyounouchi…you must…you must want to –hic- stop this war, right?"

Jyounouchi sighed.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Lord Sesshoumaru…the laws and statutes of old…"

I felt anger flare in my chest.

"That is what it is all about, is it not? Laws, statutes, regulations! Where are the days of old in which one could band with his peers to rid their lands of a menace?"

I knew my eyes were glowing vibrant red by now. My energy was crackling all over Eros' pewter table, smashing little trinkets and the drink glasses.

"If this is what Japan has come to, then it will _always_ _and forever_ be the Sengoku Jidai!!"

And with that, I knew the only way to release this energy was to transform, but I didn't think the fools worthy.

"IT IS THE STATUTES AND LAWS AND REGULATIONS, FOOLS, WHICH BIND PEACE DOWN!! ALL OF THEM _SEGREGATE_ YOUKAI AND NINGEN!!"

I left them to their foolishness and exited the castle as my face began to lengthen into a snout. Scion and Jyounouchi gasped as my doglike features began to appear, but I was well on my way to the courtyard of Eros' castle before my muscles completely thickened and a full coat of fur was upon me. Even as a three-legged Dog, I knew I must have looked a fright. My hackles were raised high and my eyes would drip blood if they were any deeper of a crimson. I tossed my head back and forth in agitation and felt my ears hit my forehead.

Boy was I pissed off!!

That was it! If the lords wouldn't help me out, that's just too damn bad! Naraku's their problem now!

I settled down onto the ground, waiting for the meeting to be adjourned. Maybe the ingrates would apologize for even bothering to come, knowing my request…

"Sesshoumaru!! Sesshoumaru!! Sessho…"

Jyounouchi stopped when he saw me, but quickly caught himself.

"Sesshoumaru, I never meant to hurt you…I just…I can't go against the other lords, and I know you, of all of us are more than capable of defeating Naraku on your own…I'm sorry, my friend."

"Friend?!?!" I said in a bark-like voice. "Some friend you are, Jyounouchi! You don't even deserve to see this form of me!!"

So saying, I growled very deeply in my throat, causing him to back off, then shifted so that he was facing my back.

"You are no different than any other human I've met. It was humans like you that killed off my father!"

"I am sorry for that, Lord Sesshoumaru, but did I kill your father?"  
"You might as well have. There is no honor in you. You filthy humans claim that we demons have no honor! Feh! Stop thinking of yourselves as being the only ones in the light and only us demons as the darkness in the world! I cannot believe that I must rely on even my half-demon brother for assistance!"

Jyounouchi shook his head.

"You are one of strong will, Sesshoumaru. I would love to see what you can accomplish. Farewell until next time."

And so he left. Soon enough, Scion approached me. He apologized as well, and received about the same treatment as Jyounouchi. The fools that they were, they could not understand how I felt at the moment they said that.

After they left, I got to my feet and faced Eros.

"Nice try, little whelp. You will never unify the humans and demons! Our hatred runs deep, just as the hate of a dragon runs deep against an Inu Youkai such as yourself."

"Heh. Do not even begin to believe you can match me, Eros. You have experience and size. I have the selfsame experience, and I have youth as well."

"Another day, Sesshoumaru. Another day we shall fight. Now get off of my lands, before I do it myself."

Proudly as can be, I trotted from Eros' lands, taking caution to go slowly and anger him.

_One day soon Eros, Naraku will take you, and that is when you and I shall fight. I wait for that day expectantly._

I arrived home a full day sooner than expected. It was a relief to me, since I wanted to eat, and I would rather be with Rin, Jaken, and Ah-Un than on a travel road alone. It gave me some sort of feeling. A foreboding feeling is what I felt when I was alone.

As I ate my dinner with Rin, something monstrous suddenly occurred to me.

"My hiccups. They are gone."

I smirked.

_It would be just like such a fickle nuisance to leave me after I was frightened so. I was scared as can be._

_Scared that they would reject my proposal right then and there. And they did._

_But I knew Scion and Jyounouchi did so with reluctance. That means that perhaps demons and humans can come to terms with whatever the past did. I will still despise humans, as is my nature…_

_But perhaps there can be peace like Chichi-ue wanted. _

_I suppose I want peace too. No fighting would be dull, but it would be so much better than having to do it all the time._

_Yeah. _

_Peace sounds great!_

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This story actually became a less humorful prequel for my soon-to-be posted story, The Battle For the Western Lands. All I can say is that it will be a war story, so if you wanna see it soon, review! I have a lot written already, but I don't know if I should type it... 

R&R pretty please!!!!


	2. Epilogue: The Past is Present

This story was actually supposed to be a oneshot, but I want to make people happy, so I'll do this. And thanks for the reviews. I loved your comments!! Btw, yes his dad was killed by a human.

**_SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!! DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE 'EM!!!!_**

In the third movie, he is supposedly injured badly by Ryukotsussei, then his 2nd wife is taken by this Takemaru dude and they fight to the death.

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The next day, Sesshoumaru found out that several of his own subjects were being brutally murdered by Eros' dragons and snake youkai.

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_**Sesshoumaru's POV**_

This was the last straw. I know my place as a lord, and I do not need to put up with this!!

"Lord Sesshoumaru, another village has been sacked," Jaken announced. "It was dragons again."  
I sighed in frustration.

"Send a few samurai down there to clean Eros' mess up, then leave some provisions, Jaken."

"Aye, Milord. Right away."

I could tell already that Eros did not mean to stop at that. He was ready to take this to war…

Unfortunately, that was the part about the entire ordeal that I feared. I have been in very warlike battles, but never have I led a war. The supposed war against the panther demons was merely a bloody battle. Nothing more. I don't think I'm ready for war.

But then again, I am not a samurai. I am a taiyoukai.

Demons love to fight, right?

So then why was I so nervous to fight? Why did war strike such a fear in me?

Because that's how Chichi-ue died. Against a dragon.

Chichi-ue was injured very badly by Ryukotsussei before he met his demise. It was at the hands of that…_Takemaru…_who fought my own father over Inuyasha's ningen mother.

They fought till the building around them collapsed from the fire. And the only thing I could find was his fire-charred obi. His sash…

The rest of his body I would eventually find on my quest for the steel-cleaving fang, Tetsusaiga.

It was a dragon that helped to cause his premature death. And that's why I am so uneasy.

But the ultimatum must be sent. Not a normal negotiation, but an ultimatum. That means if Eros doesn't comply, we go to war.

That is why I made the ultimatum very lenient.

_Eros,_

_Your dragons and snakes have been ravaging my villages. I am not prepared to blame you for it without evident cause, but I do ask that you stop this assault on my lands. I ask for no reparations, only that your youkai and dragons leave my subjects alone. They may still come onto the land._

_This is a final warning before negotiations are closed. _

_Sesshoumaru_

That's as simple as it got. It was mostly in his favor, so he should comply.

Little did I know what he would do when I sent that letter with Jaken…

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This is it! This is an epilogue to the story. If you want more, I shall be posting the next part shortly. However, this is form school, cuz my computer has the Trojan Horse virus on it and I won't have it until further notice. Sorry…

R&R though, please!!!!!


	3. Very Important Info!

This is a notice to tell ye who read "Hiccups" that its more serious following, "The Battle for the Western Lands is up, so if you want to see what's going on, read that instead. For some reason, I can't seem to get it across that "Hiccups" was a one-shot…

Other than that, I'm sorry if angsty, bloodystuff isn't your thing, but that's what's going on in _TBftWL_. It is a war story, after all...


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